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#25. partner

I've seen and read a lot about marriages, husbands, blah blah blah. I say blah blah not to dismiss it - so many articles and books are helpful in suggesting what makes a great marriage, how to love another person well, etc and I guess I say blah blah because there's SO much out there. And so here's my take on what it takes - throwing my hat in this ring, as if I have knowledge on it.

I've only been married for 5 years now. It's not long compared to some and longer than a number of people I know. So here's what I've discovered.

My husband is one of the nicest men I've ever met. He hates that description, he thinks it's boring. It's not. He is by no means a perfect man. But here's what he is - adaptable, mostly reasonable, kind, good hearted, loving, and he works almost every day to make me know that I'm loved. I know I'm a handful as a wife. I actually never thought I'd get married - I just never really wanted to and I also had this knowledge of myself that I would be a handful for someone. I mean, if we're being honest - who really wants to be a burden for someone else? And I had that sense about me. (just ask past boyfriends, they know. also, if you're a past boyfriend, I'm sorry).

And here's the difference with Brad. As we get to know each other better, I feel comfortable revealing more and more of my flaws, my imperfections - even the parts of my personality and self that I detest. And you know what he does? He gives me grace. Grace. He guides me to being a better person, but he has grace for who I am. It allows both of us to be painstakingly honest with what we're struggling with and who we are.

I've heard people say marry your best friend. I agree. You want someone who will be the best "friend" that you have in the world. He makes me laugh, and he's who I run to when I'm hurt the most.

That said - it's not perfect. We fight and we say mean things in fighting and we make lots of mistakes. And in all that - we strive to work through it. We try not to take each other for granted - we try to know that we are each other's partner, and so we try every day to build a life together.

In other things - still doing the cleanse. I slipped a little on Sunday, but I'm back in action. Candida be gone.

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Veronica Reyes-How

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