Jan 3rd post

I give myself a 15 minute grace period. So this counts as Day 3. One of our neighbors passed away tonight. She was 102. Her name was Barbara and she, as you can imagine, was quite the character. She loved watching the Kardashians and she always said I look like a little girl. She was short and slight. She told me never to get old. "It's awful" she said.

Brad likes to quote a line from a musical I did years ago - "Regret is a wasted emotion". And though that's been a useful statement in the past, I think today is the day I learned that regret is not a wasted emotion. I regret not spending more time with Barbara. We gave her our number and told her to contact us if she needed anything, but we didn't set times to hang out with her - which we could have. We did chat with her in the lobby or on the street when we saw her. But I will regret not having spent more time with her. And it's not a wasted emotion because it helps me to navigate the future better. Sure, if I was mired in guilt, then maybe regret is a bad place to visit. However, I hope that what I learn from this is to make time for people. I mean, we do make time for people - but maybe we need to make more time for people. I don't know. I'll be sitting with this one for a bit.

She sent me a cute note one day with her phone number. I kept it. Before I left for Christmas vacation, I found it and put it in my coffee table for safe keeping. I wish then that I had just called her. So maybe that's what I've learned - follow the small promptings you have - don't just set things aside. Life is short.


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Veronica Reyes-How